Breaking+the+Cycle

__ Breaking the Cycle __ I. The principles of intervention A. You must confront with care (Matthew 5:23, 18:5) - If you do not confront with care, your relationship with God will suffer. B. You must take the least threatening posture first (Matthew 18) - One way to look at the interaction of conflict and communication is as a test of your relationship with God. C. You must speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) - If you are honest and loving, while there still may be some hurt feelings, the relationship will be better off. D. You must go with “open hands.” (Ephesians 4:31-5:2) - The two “hands” of forgiveness are 1) God forgave you and 2) that you forgive others. - The impact of unresolved issues on our thinking is that our grids close off to that person.

II. The practices of intervention A. Calling a time-out. - Conflict must be handled with a cool head. There is no reason the issue need immediate attention if you are still really angry. B. Using the eraser. - The biblical concept of forgiveness is that of erasing the offense (however, this does not mean that trust is restored, that is a different issue). C. Learning a new language. - We have to speak to people in terms and ways that they will clearly understand what we are saying. What we say to others does not always communicate what we mean. D. Training by role playing. - Before you confront, try to experience the situation from the other person’s perspective.